


Dark Entities

by BadlyWrittenFluff



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, Mental Health Issues, Roselia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:22:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25862032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadlyWrittenFluff/pseuds/BadlyWrittenFluff
Summary: Ako's calls to the darkness were never meant to be answered,  at least not like this! As opposed to giving her the ultimate powers of evil... the powers that be decided to leave her in ruin instead.A small tale of struggle and redemption.Mind the tags please.
Kudos: 19





	Dark Entities

What was it like to have your life taken over by a dark entity?

It was so cool!

Nevermind the cave of bats, way less content in Ako's stomach. At first they had been purple butterflies. Now everything was more... frantic.

Chaos was good!

Ako wasn't afraid! 

* * *

Growing pains were... painful.

Though nothing that Ako couldn't handle!

Just soaking in her bath salts and hearing her berry fizzers hissing out from the fiery depths of the.... water, it would solve all her aches and pains!

She was transforming into an even more powerful sorceress. This was all but necessary!

* * *

Tripping up the steps, her friend pulls her back

Her drum stick slips and take a flight across the room during practice

Her fork clashes in a war against the table

'Clumsy girl' her friend giggled.

Yes. That must be it.

So lame! 

What sort of mage had no grace?

Ako needed to do better!

* * *

It was the weekend, so she didn't _have_ to get up.

The weekends were for relaxing and replenishing one's dark energy.

There was no reason to do anything else.

* * *

Happy birthday to her.

Happy birthday to her.

Was it happy?

No.

Not really.

She turns her back on the singing.

What part of her walks away?

There were too many questions later on.

* * *

She was a sinful little girl.

To lie so directly, to smile so innocently at the deceived! 

Evil, Ako was. So very evil!

An anti-hero that doesn't follow the rules!

* * *

Kaboom! 

Bam!

Whoosh!

Did words have meaning anymore?

Maybe better ones were out there...

* * *

Her friends were mad, insane even

They had accused her of too many horrible things!

Was the enemy turning them against her?

But.... they were all she had.

Why did they think she didn't care about Roselia anymore?

What was going on?

* * *

It wasn't the weekend but the bed felt so nice...nicer than the prickly world. Nicer than...

* * *

She screamed in

Anger? Was it that?

To scream at her precious Yukina...

So few things were important anymore.

Who needed her long silver hair? Who needed a beautiful voice, drums?

Her 'temporary' replacement could permeate.

**She didn't care**

* * *

School didn't matter.

Ako's two creators disagreed.

Never before did she disobey their orders...

Maybe she was just more brave.

Shout away into the void, they were free to do that.

The void never answered back anyway.

* * *

F for failing

F for falling

F for fraud

F for friendless

F for... who cared anymore?

* * *

They stand there like a garrison of love, barricading her doorway.

They stare at her.

They tell her that they care for her.

All of them.

Even Yukina.

Ako wants nothing more than to join them. To get out of the bed she's in and walk over.

It hurts to look at them. She can't move and even if she did, what was the point?

The ceiling in front of her is glitching and maybe she told them all to go away?

But they're hugging her now so it didn't work and Ako closes her eyes as tight as she's being held...

Someone sniffles.

Rinko??

In a start, Ako panics.

Rinko was crying and within a beat of that realization Sayo is whispering "Please come back to us Ako... " and...

Ako just begins screeching because she didn't know what else to do.

How could she come back if she didn't know where she was?

She's hugged closer as she shrieked. Lisa embraces her closer that is. Ako recognizes her warmth, an indescribable warmth that anyone could know just from the touch even when all they could recognize lately was darkness.

A hand she knows well is stroking her hair. When did her sister get there?

Her lungs give up eventually and her wails wither and die out.

Ako wishes she could join th-

"You need help, baby girl."

Ako hears those words and she wants to retort but her mouth only works when she isn't controlling it now.

Who could help something that's already gone?

Gentle words are sung.

Yukina.

It's nothing like her stage voice...it wavers. Shakes. Still beautiful, no matter what.

Ako wished she sounded ugly.

She opens her eyes and really sees them all, huddled around her bed.

Ako's lips turn up.

They really _did_ care.

For whatever good that did!

Their care couldn't take away her hurt no matter how strong their formation stood.

She falls asleep.

She was so tired. 

* * *

When anonymous entities had dragged her under, to low and indescribable places... 

Ako never thought she'd attempt to fly

She always wanted wings

And as she became a fallen angel, the desire to drift away did its damndest to fester

But deep down she knew she'd never try

So why did they tell her she did?

Why did the doctors call her high risk?

Ako didn't lack for visitors

They all came in swarms

Nuisances.

Like flies. No wasps! Poking! Hoping...

Yukina didn't talk about music so she didn't seem like Yukina at all.

Rinko didn't talk about gaming so _they_ didn't seem like Ako & Rinko at all.

Tomoe didn't talk much. Just apologized for failing her and other things that made no sense. 

Lisa was the same Lisa, always comfort and baked goods and light-hearted jokes to hold everyone together

But Sayo didn't come

What Ako did had broke her and Lisa couldn't fix it

So Ako didn't get to see her savior

The one who saw her

Held her

Ako doesn't remember trying to fly but she remembered strong hands around her and words like 'emergency'

And she wanted to thank Sayo

She was glad to be alive

Even if alive hurt so much

And she didn't understand that

Or why she wanted to listen to the doctors _now_

Those trickster enemies in healer disguises that told her they had the magical antidote

She wanted it to be over

But not like that

She wanted the torture to end and looking at her poking, hoping, wonderful friends she knew

She had to take a step to make a stand

* * *

Therapy and medicine weren't actually magical antidotes

There was no insta-cure for all Ako's ailments which was a super bummer

And yet the all-knowing cleric waved their wand at her

And in that moment the neverending debuffs that were stacked upon her began to expire and dull overtime

One by one they fell and little by little Ako felt more like herself

Like the enchantress of evil instead of their puppet on strings!

And maybe some of her favorite lingo didn't actually feel cool anymore...

The spaces void of light were places she knew now to be hellish and cruel

But she still loved black, purple, skull rings and especially rpgs!

And that meant something! 

Even if doom crept behind her and kept tugging her back by the neck guiding her away from pretty things like happy and fun

She had that part of her now that was able to resist even when forced to her knees, even when it seemed impossible to flee with the leash tightening

And then she could crawl into her sister's bed and Tomoe would slash through the ropes with her drumsticks/awesomeness and tell Ako that she loved her

And it would help

Even if it was just a little

* * *

What was it like to clamber and claw out of hell?

It just was...

Everything and yet it was nothing

When strangers blind her with their smiles and mention recovery

It seems foreign

Well-meaning but over her head, scattering

A victory song seemed faraway

Even though it was the one she plays

Music repeatedly, consistently setting her free when nothing else can

It sort of came as a surprise how she heard it differently

Like a close friend that she was finally understanding

Music gave her something to say

And they all listened

Because they loved her

Of course they did

And the words she felt they all sang back to the crowd

Sayo found a moment to touch her shoulder with no fear of the past

Rinko's eyes stayed dry so the world seemed alright, only sort of, only sometimes. 

Lisa looks her way with sparkling eyes, warming her insides

And Yukina belted out the lyrics in Ako's heart

Ako was glad it came out beautiful, somber and bittersweet 

Ako plays with Roselia once again

Finally. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was me self-projecting onto one of my favorite characters because I've been quite sad lately. Just to be clear, I sincerely apologize if you dislike my interpretation of mental illness here but I am a survivor of all of the things above if that means something. :) I hope you have a good day! I'm not so good at angst but I will always try to improve despite that!


End file.
